Thoughts from a walk and lunch...
Since quitting my job my life pace has really slowed down, I'm out of routine, yet the world is still spinning and those around me are still on the treadmill going at full pace. I started to wonder, is this because of where I live? Does living in LA mean I'll forever feel out of place while those around me still work on the 9-5 schedule? Or am I unlearning hustle and 9-5 and meetings and zooms and and and and... eventually, I'll feel ok. Maybe I'm just unlearning and thats uncomfortable right now.
I started to wonder, "do I need to move again? do i need to move to a city or town or countryside that collectively (or more so) lives in a slower pace lifestyle (does that even exist in the US??)? or can I create that for myself within my own little nook of LA? Even more, even if I did move, would it still be all in my head... will this feeling of "other" "not doing enough" "gotta hustle" always trail me?"
Is this feeling of "must be working majority of the day" something that we will always feel due to how our society (in the US) functions? Do I need to remove myself from it and go to another country to truly slow down and unlearn...? Am I able to cultivate that for myself where I am even if most people here aren't living that way?
With what feels like the rise and fall of the #girlboss era at our feet, and more people wanting to "be" than "do" it feels like a new, unknown, not yet navigated, period of work methodology upon us. People don't want to hustle (and we shouldn't have to). We're burnt out from a worldwide trauma and we don't even realize it yet... or aren't allowed the space to feel it. I used to love to travel, I lived outside of a suitcase for years, but after the pandemic going abroad feels really foreign (no pun intended) to me. I'm out of practice of being (good) uncomfortable, and I've gotten too (bad) comfortable in my daily routine (which I was very uncomfortable with... hence finally quitting the 9-5 last month).
Is what I'm searching for something I'll be able to find while living in LA? Or do I need to leave...? Im uncomfy with the thought that I'm running away from facing something deeper I need to address (because that's been a pattern for me), but I also feel like sometimes you just need change in order to make change in your life.
So what is it? Does where you live determine how you live? Is it who you live life with (friends, partners, the voice in your own head)? Is it society as a whole? Is it a combination? Is there a way out? How do we break down years of being told what "success" looks like (and how to get there), societally accepted constructs that impact our daily lives, and escape or create a new version of life in order to create a real version of success?
No answers today, just thoughts.