Once you find a style you love, and become known for it (whether by family, friends, self, or public eye) it becomes a part of your identity. And when you start to grow or explore other styles, your identity becomes questioned (by yourself and possibly others). “Well it’s nice, but it’s not very you” might be something you hear (by others or your own mind) while in an exploration phase. New styles will be met with comparison (“it works, but I’m not sure it’s any better” (why do things always have to be better? Cant they just be different?) or “the other way looks better” or “hmmmm... It's nice, but I’m just not sure its me”) and as the saying goes, comparison kills.
When it comes to updating the home (whether with renovation or decor) part of me thinks, well if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.... Why do we feel the need to change all the time? Especially if it’s costing money, time, and possibly wasting perfectly good resources. On the other hand, there are about a million quotes out there on why growth and change are good for us for so many different reasons. This mindset feels similarly mixed to how I feel about trends: I don’t like following them and I think trends come and go insanely fast these days, however, trends are trends for a reason. They’re popular because people like it ("it" being whatever the trend is). And lots of people liking something isn’t a bad thing. Lots of people like it for a reason, the reason likely being because it's a cool/fun/beautiful thing. It'd be like saying Italy is so overrated just because a lot of people like it (although I know this likely is some peoples mindset lol).
Change, growth, trends... They’re nuanced and far from perfect. But they’re a part of life that absolutely extends to the home, how we decorate our homes, and how we live within them.
The last couple weeks I've been playing around with my nightstand nook. I had no plans to do this and it really wasn't necessary. The only reason I found myself doing so was because I found a nightstand on the side of the road and decided to try it out in my home. After putting time into washing it out, stripping the orange out of the wood, and sanding it down I decided to share the start of this project online and boy did folks have something to say! I typically do not share works of progress online for this reason (I get so overwhelmed with everyones opinion and I find that sometimes folks skip reading the disclaimer where I include info like "it's a work in progress, it's not done yet!"), but I also think it's fun to interact with the online community and see what they have to say. Something I learned from this whole experience was if I'm not confident in my decision before I open it up to the public, is that I will feel very unsure of how to move forward. Listening to everyones opinions "do this" "do that" left me feeling more flustered than when I started, and almost like I had to commit now because if I went back to how I had it I would be giving up in some way (sounds silly to admit, but I'm just human and those were my thoughts). This new nightstand lead me to realize I'd need a new lamp, and the new lamp meant figuring out how I'd style the rest of it, and that meant a lot of time on Pinterest, at the thrift store, and trying and retrying. Don't get me wrong, these are all things I love doing, but I realized I don't love doing it when I feel like I'm doing it with others opinions ("but what will they think!?!?" instead of "do I like this?") in the forefront of my mind instead of my own.
If you're thinking, "Rose what are you babbling about? It's a night stand." Let me compare (wink wink) this feeling to one you might be familiar with. You know when you have an idea about something? Could literally be anything, but before you feel fully sure about it or maybe you're waiting to hear back about something in order for it to happen (i.e. you put an application in for an apartment or a job or you're considering a new hair cut or starting a new hobby) you tell people about it and telling people about it feels like you've just jinxed it (like they've taken part of it before you were even ever fully in it yourself)? Versus the times when you keep it to yourself and let it bloom just for you before sharing; and then once it feels good and strong (not necessarily perfect or done, but you feel good about it no matter what others say) and then you share about it? That share feels so much more exciting and happy because you feel grounded in the thing, whatever the thing is, versus on the edge of your seat and anxious and jumpy and still unsure.
It's not a flat rule though, sometimes it's ok to ask for advice, especially if you feel lost and don't know what to do (if you haven't caught on yet we're now talking a bit more about life in general than home decor, the through line is thin), but there's something to be said for pausing, listening, and then acting on your gut rather than for the validity of others. I mean, those others might not know what the heck they're talking about! Why are you trusting them over you?? It's your life! It's your life and it's ok to trust your gut, its also ok to ask for help, it's also ok to not ask for help and try something and do amazing and its also ok to try something and fail and quit and try something else. It's ok for life to be messy. It's ok to explore and grow and change and it's also ok to go back and admit mistakes and try again. There are no set rules, but I will leave you with this: If the tides never ebbed, we'd never find shells. If the trees didn't shed their leaves, we'd never see fall. If people never failed, they would never have tried. Change in any area of life can be really scary since the unknown may lay ahead, but it can also be a wonderful thing to lean into as you never know what gems could be just beyond the horizon.
Thanks for being here and reading my messy thoughts. Go change, go grow.
xx
Rose
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