You're not weird, you're an empath

When I saw the following for the first time it hit a chord I didn't even know I had. EVERYTHING made sense. And I didn't feel alone.

"Triggers for empaths: crowds, fake conversations, feeling rushed, arguments, loud noise, and inauthentic people." - Mantra Magazine

Since I've first seen it I had (good, smart, beautiful) friends send it to me, I've saved it multiple times, and repeated it to myself when I felt out of place.

Even as I write this post I can hear my neighbors fighting through the walls. I always wondered why it bothered me more than my roommates. Why I craved the peace and quiet.

*The following is based on my experience alone, even though I sometimes say "we" or "they" it could very well be just me.

Loud Noise

When you're an empath you pick up on all the emotion out there. You need solitude to refuel (or at least I do). When there's distraction from peace and quiet with noise that you cant control it can stir anxiety making you go absolutely crazy because you're triggered by something you don't know when it will end. That lack of control is a huge trigger for so many people with anxiety or who suffer from panic attacks.

Fake conversation

When you're around people who skim on surface level for every conversation it's almost painful to be around. "Is this really what they want to talk about? Or do they just not like me?" is constantly a question I never know the answer to when I'm around people like this. It also really tires me out and makes me want to go home immediately.

Feeling Rushed

It's not that we can't do things quickly, but if someone is sitting over our shoulders watching us do something they need "asap," chances are it's going to take me twice as long with more mistakes than none because you're already making me feel like a failure.

More on Empaths

Sometimes it's hard to do 'what everyone else does.' Going out to loud bars on a busy holiday night drinking until your smashed? Nope no can do. I will pick up on every emotion and start spitting nonsense about how the world is a cruel cruel place and start talking politics, reforms, and why everyone should be in social justice. Some people think it's funny, but when the water works start -- it's not. I've learned that I enjoy a beer on a patio, or happy hour with a few pals much much more than any heavy crowd scene. Learn from my mistakes.

Meeting people in social scenes and having the same small talk over and over again.. Doesn't anyone wanna talk about anything real anymore? This is why networking events can be so stressful to some empaths, especially if they're also introverts.

The last thing I'll note is about the workplace. Toxic environments? It's picked up on very quickly. Work without meaning? Hard to adjust to. Empaths feel. It's hard to work for something you cant connect to, because you put your soul and heart into what you do in life. If you're putting your everyday soul and heart into something you don't truly care about.. it's not going to be an easy work environment to adjust into.

© 2020 Rose Zilber