Week one: social distancing recommended, but not enforced. I was still advocating to support the local businesses by buying food and drink from them, little did I know this was a terrible idea. Soon learning that supporting them by buying online gift cards and local drop offs would be the way to go.

Week two: must be six feet apart and job was furloughed. Everyone was getting pretty good at social distancing, the memes were great, not everyone was 100% serious about it though. Once I got notice of the status of my job I didn't feel scared, I felt like I had a new opportunity ahead. And then it hit me. I have no income during a terrible recession when NO ONE will be hiring. I thought ok I'll become a bar tender or baris-- oh.. no service jobs.

I then got a bit scared. I filed for unemployment for the first time ever. I felt empowered and freaked out. Felt grateful I know how to freelance, but nervous as to not a lot of people are looking to hire on more people right now. I still feel a sense of calm. Maybe thats naive. Maybe it's because I think more is at risk than employment right now. It's not as high on my list anymore.

Of course we (as humans) need income, but we also need joy, laughter, ease at mind, nature, family, passion. This is a chance for that. A chance to figure out what I really value and maybe make a plan or idea or an idea of a plan to harness that more deeply. Or a chance to rest and not try to figure it all out.

Week two continued: I walk in back streets to avoid people because we are on lockdown yet the strand is still packed. I do not leave the house at all.. not even for groceries (yet, I'll need to at some point). I have more time on my hands now. Trying to get creative with what I have since all the store (art shops, etc.) are closed. I know I can order online, but now that I don't have an income I am trying to work with what I have and stay creative. Finding pleasure in simplicity like taking walks to look at the bungalows around Hermosa, illustrating just for fun again, random dancing (lol, cue iCarly), cleaning and reading. Of course there's lots of Hulu streaming as well. If waters were warmer and beaches were not being patrolled I would swim. Constantly wondering what "normal" will feel like once this is over.. and if we will ever feel "normal" again. Hugs? They feel scary. Sneezes.. you better cover that mouth. Watching TV I keep seeing people interact so closely and it feels like a "back in the day" thing..

© 2020 Rose Zilber